“1-Year Itch” - Can I Call It That?
Walking into my multiple purposes like…
First Time Mom/Stay At Home Mom: “1-Year Itch” - Can I Call It That?
Let Me Explain.
According to Google, “the 1-year itch is a phenomenon where a relationship may face challenges as the initial honeymoon phase ends, and the reality of long-term partnership sets in around the one-year mark.”
As this relates to relationships, I somehow can’t ignore that I feel similarly to this as it relates to motherhood as a SAHM. I mean, doesn’t this role fall under the “relationship” category.
My daughter, Kyla, will be turning 1 year old on December 13th. (Fun Fact: Her father and myself both have birthdays on the 13th of our birthday months.) As I am excitedly planning her party and looking forward to our celebration, the reality is settling in that I have been out of work over a year.
This was in August of 2024.
The 2nd trimester was my sweet spot but those 7am workdays still kicked my butt!
My Reality!
I remember working while pregnant. It was tough. My workday started at 7am, so I would have to be up early to make it into the office. Thankfully, I didn’t live too far from where I worked, so I would time out how long it took to get ready and my drive into work so that I could sleep in as long as possible.
The 3rd trimester was very uncomfortable and I’d barely get a good nights sleep, but I knew I had to show up even when it felt impossible. I worked in sales as a account executive (a fancy name for recruiter) and I was good at what I did. I came into the position motivated and committed.
I’d worked my way up to earning commissions that made me proud and perks that afforded me extra time off and work from home days, but nothing is ever perfect.
Nothing is Ever Perfect.
Although I felt accomplished, there is a whole other side to working in Corporate America. Management, hello!
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that all jobs don’t offer maternity leave and moms have to make very tough decisions relying on daycare. However, my company did have it and I took full advantage of it. To be honest, I earned it (according to their handbook because you had to work “X” amount of time to qualify for it.)
After my maternity leave was up, I’d made the decision to choose my family over work no matter the outcome. Not to my surprise, there was no compromise. (There is more I could get into, but I do believe that the details of this story will have its time to shine one day.)
My mom took this photo. It’s one of my favs!
The TV fell from the wall after paying a company to mount it so we just placed it on the fireplace.
Choosing My Family.
Choosing my family came at a cost. I forwent my job that I’d spent precious time building and sacrificing for, but I did so to take care of my baby that I’d just spent almost a year caring for and creating.
It’s unfortunate, but it was a decision that I was proud to be able to stand up for and make.
Now that my daughter is turning 1-year old. I am deciding to choose my family in a different way.
Choosing Myself.
Simply writing that out is liberating. Choosing myself is ultimately me choosing my family. This 1-year itch is me having the desire to continue a adding value to where it matters most but also to my own future.
As I mentioned before, I was good at what I did. Boiling it all down, I was the middle man, the connect, the professional who made the transactions happen. It was a lot of moving parts just to have to give majority of the actual money away to the company. They took so much, the state took theirs, and the government took theirs.
I know I signed up for it, but I am now met with the challenge of if I can do it myself. Choosing me and choosing entrepreneurship… these are the decisions I am facing today.
Hey, Mommas!
As a SAHM, have you ever experienced wanting to get back to work or had the desire to create your own business after having children? Was it a 1-year itch (as I call it) or was it much much later in your journey?
Let’s chat in the comments.